Bangladesh: A Tourist Destination?

"I met a couple the other day who said they were tourists. I think they were the last of the hippies. They wanted to find some Italian fathers, so I directed them to the Mission. I think that's the third time I've met someone here, in the last 18 years, who referred to themselves as tourists."

I am in the process of trying to figure out how Jess could obtain a Bangladeshi visa to visit Bangladesh. I have asked everyone I know who has been here for any length of time; everyone has a different story, and none of them are particularly encouraging. It is virtually impossible to obtain a visa on arrival it appears, at least people highly advise against it. So Jess might have to go to Bangkok to get a visa, a long journey to one of the few places in the world with a Bangladeshi Embassy.

Bangladesh does not understand tourism. The one time I thought I had met a tourist in Mymensingh, he turned out to be the writer of a guide book. Bangladesh is not a tourist destination, and I can understand why. I think I have visited 75% of the tourist attractions in this country and I have not always had the most wonderful of experiences. Never mind not having the best experiences, I couldn't imagine trying to get to any of those places without knowing Bengali AND having a guide. They have not made tourism in Bangladesh easy, and it shows, there aren't any tourists.

I have visited a few other countries this year, namely Laos and Nepal and soon to be India. Laos and Nepal understand tourism, granted they are some of the largest tourist destinations in Asia, but there is a reason for that. Firstly, they understand what tourists want, secondly they have the natural beauty to add to a cultural and historical heritage that lends itself to good tourism. But most importantly they try to make the tourist happy. Because happy tourists bring more happy tourists, and happy tourists bring money. Bangladesh could develop tourism. It has areas of natural beauty that would, if preserved and made accessible, be tourist attractions. But first, people here need to realize that tourists are not going to flock to a country that doesn't seem to care if they come or not. And tourists are definitely not going to come to a country that makes it difficult for them to come. Tourism is not the solution to the struggles of Bangladesh. But attracting tourists could provide an income to the country, outside of cheap labour and foreign aid.

As it stands, Bangladesh is not a tourist destination, and until they start having a reliable system and method for tourists to visit, and places for them to see, tourists won't come.

Peace.
Steve.

Teaching Peace

Teaching Peace. Some people might say that's what I came here to do. First off, my bengali is not good enough to teach anything other than English, so my teaching of peace is limited to times when I have a translator. But something is happening that is even better than learning peace. Children are learning peace through having fun.


I have watched as our peace programs at the school have developed. We started tentatively. Puppet shows about important themes, great stories to back it up, but sometimes unsure of the purpose. What are we doing here? The children were always excited to see what was in store for them, and seeing puppet shows is always interesting. And as we continued our confidence level grew, the children grasped the concepts and the discussions were enlightening. But every month still looked the same.

Now we have expanded. We are using new techniques and skills to not just teach peace, but to let the children discover peace on their own. This month was skit month. I am part of the Bolajpur School group, and we had 4 groups of students, each being helped by a teacher from the school. The students’ task was to develop a role-play and to come up with a solution to the conflict we presented. Then they had to present that skit to the class.

The conflict was this, there were two families in a village. One family owned a cow, one family owned a vegetable garden. There was also a neighbour family, but they were not involved in the conflict. The cow was, time and again, breaking away from its line and wandering into the vegetable garden and eating the vegetables. The first few times the vegetabel owner would return the cow to its owner and ask him to keep the cow tied up, the cow's owner would respond "Oh yes, he won't end up in your vegetables anymore." But invariably, the next day, there was the cow in the vegetables. The vegetable owner got so frustrated that one day, instead of returning the cow to the owner, he brought the cow to the Kuwar, the cow jail. Now the Kuwar is a spot in the bazaar where stray cows are brought if they are found wandering around. The owner, must then go to the bazaar and pay a fine to have his cow back. Therefore, having your cow brought to the Kuwar is expensive, and it is also embarassing. To have to pick up your cow from the Kuwar is shameful to a cow owner. Needless to say, the cow's owner took the actions of the vegetable owner as an attack against him. He was angry and bitter towards the vegetable owner. So in spite, the cow owner blocked off a path through his land which was often used by the vegetable owner. The conflict grew and this was where we turned it over to the children.

And the students didn't disappoint. They came up with funny, creative and all slightly different solutions to the conflict. In the end, each group decided to use the neighbouring family to help resolve the dispute, either through compensation of money, compromise, new tether to keep the cow from the vegetables, many different solutions to the same conflict. Success! The point was made. No two conflicts are ever alike, and no conflict has only one right solution, there are many ways of responding to each conflict, and some may be better than others, but there is always a choice of solutions.

The use of this activity was very exciting for me. To see the teachers and our team members work alongside the students, to help the students come up with their own skits and their own solutions to the problem. We didn't need to teach peace, we could assist the children in learning something they all knew at some level. This is part of the fun of peace. We often know what it is and how it works, we just don't spend the time to really think about it and use those skills when they would be most useful. I sincerely hope that this upward momentum in the learning and teaching styles in these schools can continue and thrive over the coming years. Not only in the teaching of peace, but in the life of the schools in general. It's not about teaching peace, it's about helping others to learn peace.

Shanti.
Steve.

A Wedding, Hindu Style

"Shubho Bibaho" - Merry Wedding


First, I would like to wish all the best to my friend Jyotti who's wedding I attended last night. I wish her and her husband the best and hope that they learn to love each other in their lives together.

This post will in part describe the Hindu wedding but is also an exploration into the tradition of marriage in Bangladesh. Hindu weddings as I was told by my friend Ronnie, are night-time affairs, unlike Muslim weddings which take place most often during the day. We arrived at 9 o'clock at the wedding house, a decorated area near Jyotti's house, hemmed in by small tin houses. Neither family is particularly rich, therefore the renting of a hall for the wedding was not a possibility. I am in fact amazed that the family had the money to have the decorations they had, after the payment of dowry. We entered Jyotti's house and there she was in her pre-wedding shari, looking very beautiful yet not joyful, not happy, not excited for this new chapter in her life.


Bangladeshi marriages are a family affair. Not just that the family is involved in the marriage ceremony, the family is involved in every part of the marriage preparation. In fact, the bride and groom have essentially no voice in the arranging of the marriage whatsoever. The bride's family and the groom's family are involved in arranging the marriage. And once the arrangement is set, it is a matter of weeks before the wedding. Once the marriage has been decided upon, then comes the families discussion of dowry. Dowry is paid by the bride to the groom's family upon arrival at their home as the new addition to their family. Dowry is an important part of a marriage here in Bangladesh, but it is also the cause of much strife. I have only second hand information about the actual dowry given in this instance, but I was told that the sum of cash was 50,000 Taka ($750) and on top of that 6 gold nuggets were to be given, each worth over a thousand Taka. That puts the dowry of this low-income family at over $1000. To put this in perspective, a salary of 5000 Taka per month here is a decent salary. This is why I am amazed they had any money left over for food and decoration, and that brings me back to the wedding day.

After we arrived was the ceremony, symbolizing the leaving of the bride from her family. There sat my friend, crying as her father, brothers, and uncles fed her sweets and gave her money as a blessing. As I watched this I felt sorry for this normally happy, bubbly and cheerful friend of mine, sitting there scared and alone, unsure of the future, not knowing the man she is going to spend the rest of her life with.

After the ceremony we helped serve dinner for the guests. Hindu weddings here are small affairs, with this wedding having no more than 50 guests, mostly family, with a few friends. We served and ate dinner between 11 and midnight, then we sat and talked as the bride and groom were prepared for the wedding ceremony. Shortly after 1 o'clock in the morning we visited Jyotti in her room, in a beautiful shari, and ornate bangles, her hands covered in gold henna. We took pictures and joked with the women who were part of the ceremony. Then, at 2am the wedding started.

The wedding took place in a small pagoda-style enclosure decorated with finely cut paper and faux flowers. The dirt floor had been painted in typical Bengali fashion and the many accessories to the wedding were strewn around. The proceedings were interrupted at one point, also in Bengali fashion, when they could not decide whether the bride should walk around the groom to her left or to his left. After they figured that out, the proceedings went smoothly and despite the constant interruptions and the awkward video photographer from somewhere, it was an enjoyable night.

As I think about the marriage customs and rituals of this culture, I see history and and tradition woven into a web, intertwining people and joining them in marriage. I sincerely pray for the future of Jyotti and her husband as they take this new step in their lives.

Peace.
Steve.

Peace Through Stories

Last weekend, April 9-12 was our Taize Peace Committee Retreat. We went to a retreat center at Jolchatro Mission for a time of bonding and relaxing. The focus of the retreat was on internal peace.

Think of 10 things in your life that made you really happy. This was one of the tasks Father Gilbert, the retreat leader, asked our group to write down. Times in our lives when we have been really happy. This task should not be as difficult as it was. Why do we remember the negative events in our lives so much more easily than we remember the joyful moments? Hearing participants responses to what made them really happy, was a moment of cultural enlightenment for me. Here I had written down times that I am happy, for example, when I listen to music, or when I exercise, and so on. When we returned together to share the things that make us happy, I quickly found out that my list was not the Bangladeshi way of saying what makes us happy. I had written down ideas, things that make me happy when I do them or when I receive them from others, everyone else, had written down stories. "There was this one time when..." or "When I was 5 years old my father...", all stories, stories of times when they had been happy. People here think in stories, they do not think in point form, they do not think in abstractions, they think in concrete stories. Here, in this country, peace must be built through stories, stories of when peace prevailed, stories of the damages of conflict, only through stories will people stay engaged.

Then, the last day before we left we introduced the idea of a sharing circle. A piece of bamboo was taken from outside and as we passed the stick around the circle, we listened to what had impacted people during our retreat. And here, once again, I was struck by the stories. A good North-American would name a list of things that had impacted them, they would not tell it as a story. I for one, would not have thought of telling what had impacted me in the form of a story, but each person, time after time, told a story, or two, or three. Stories are how they process their worlds. Stories are the vehicle for peace in this country.

As I think about the value of stories, I wonder whether using stories more in our North American lives would not be beneficial? Stories connect you and your place to others around you. Stories connect the ideas being discussed to a concrete reality and personal or communal history, and stories provide an fun method for transmitting important information. In our search for peace, stories must play an important role.

Shanti.
Steve.

Starving People... Who Cares?

I was reading comments people were making on the BBC regarding the world's food price increases. Many people make very valid comments about overpopulation and the movement towards crops for bio-fuel, but there was one comment in particular that shocked me and I wanted to share it here.

Bangladesh is one of the countries where people are starving. It's a fact, a slightly hidden fact, but a fact nonetheless. I have spoken to poor families who at the moment eat only 1 meal of rice per day. I met a friend today, he was pulling hundreds of pounds of sand down the street as a coolie, last I knew him he was unemployed. Luckily now he has a job to feed his family, but to what effect? The strain I could see in his body was unbelievable, this older man struggling to pull hundreds and hundreds of pounds of sand through the streets of Mymensingh. And with all this work, he eats maybe two meals of rice a day, with no protein and a few vegetables. These are the effects of rising food prices on the population of Bangladesh. People lining up all day to receive rice at a reduced price, rationing hand fulls of rice every meal. People are starving, and Bangladesh is not alone.

Now back to the comment that provoked me enough to write this post. Someone wrote, "Who cares, I have a cupboard full of glorious food and a freezer full of meat let them eat cake!" This comment was so provocative, I am almost inclined to say it was posted to make a point or as a wake-up call, I can hardly believe someone would be so callous or insensitive, but it is possible. This comment may be over the top, we all may say, "I would never say that!" or "That's terrible!" or some other comment to retain our image as a caring and sensitive human being. But how many of us, by our actions, are in fact making the same comment as this person? I have a cupboard full of glorious food and a freezer full of meat, they can deal with their own problems, I'm just fine. I encourage everyone today to stop and think, food prices are rising, economic systems are struggling, what can we do? How can we remember to include the people who will be most affected by our economic decisions and hoarding of food? How can we keep from starving the poorest in society? These questions have no easy answer, but I claim with no reservations that "Who cares... let them eat cake!" is not the answer. Because they will not eat cake, the reality of the matter is that they very well may die of starvation or a related disease. Who cares? I care, and I hope you do too.

Peace and Justice.
Steve.

PS The quote was taken from the article, http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=4606&edition=2&ttl=20080414120447 from BBC World Website.

Pain Amongst Joy

Today was a wonderful chance to enjoy Bengali New Year. To enjoy a large festival and smile with friends, but there is always something in this country that makes me think, and think deeply, about what it means to be rich.

As thousands of middle-income and upper-income Bangladeshis wandered the streets outside of Taize, in our little oasis we were enjoying a typical meal of rice, shobji and dhal. Brother Guillaume, face painted and all, had enjoyed a morning out with some of the local children he spends much of his time with. We were all sitting around eating and talking, when someone beside me asked one of the boys from the street where his shirt was, he answered very matter of factly, "I only have one". That comment found its way down into my heart in a way that few others have recently. How many children do I see running around shirtless, and I naively thought it was because they were hot, but how many of those children only have one shirt, and they can't afford to wear it everyday or they won't have any shirts. As I walked around the mela outside, looking at the fancy sharis and hand-painted shirts, the fine embroidery and expensive fabrics, my mind wandered back, again and again to the little boy, shirtless, eating his rice. In the midst of the joy, it is important to keep grounded in the reality, and today I had that ability.

Peace.
Steve.

Shubho Noboborsho

Happy Bengali New Year to all! Today is the first day of the year 1415 in the Bengali calendar and today, April 14 is Bengali New Year's day. A wonderful excuse for a mela. After lunch my friends Kokhun, Dulal and I went and visited the celebrations in the park along the Bramaputra River. Tens of thousands of people lined the streets along the river, stalls were set up selling hand-made goods and cheap toys for children.

Stalls selling tasty street food, tea and ice cream littered the park. There were even petite amusement park style rides available. Not that I would trust my life to a few pieces of wood swinging around like a merry-go-round. We visited the Zainul Abedin art gallery to see an exhibition where Abir, an MCC Bangladesh designer has works displayed, and met up with a few other friends for some tea and gossip, a Bangladeshi specialty.

Today's New Year's celebrations were a wonderful opportunity to relax and spend some time with friends, to see the colourful dress and intricately hand-painted shirts and sharis, and to be a part of the Bengali New Year.

Shubho Noboborsho.

Shanti.
Steve.

Expecting the Unexpected

So strange things happen, it's a rule of life right? If you expect something to happen, chances are it won't. I have noticed this to quite the extreme in the last couple of days.

Take two days ago for example. I went to get a haircut, at least that's what I asked for. And a haircut is what I got... as well as an hour long facial, complete with facial massage, peel-off face mask, exfoliating lotion and yes, skin whitening treatment. Makes your skin whiter in only 15 minutes! And after an hour of trying to convince the hairdresser that I really did not need the pampering or the added cost, I gave up and completed my treatment. Needless to say, I may be going to the 10 cent a pop hair-dresser around the corner from now on.

So the facial was unexpected, slightly amusing, slightly pricey and definitely unexpected. But today's surprise might just take the prize. I woke up this morning to a knocking at my door. There stood a young man who asked me if my name was Steven. When I replied in the affirmative, he proceeded to tell me that he was moving in. No mistake, he was in fact living in my room. Brother Frank apparently sent him to live with me, and I am now with an unexpected roommate. Not an iota of warning whatsoever. I am slowly starting to realize that was has become expected after 8 months should not be, and the unexpected should always be expected to occur. I just hope that the unexpected doesn't get much more intense than it already is!

ecaeP. (Did you expect that!)
Steve.

Learning to Think

I am someone who believes in the power of education. As a product of the public education system in Ontario, I believe that public education can be successful and can provide results regardless of the situation from which a child comes. But more important than any system or method of education, I believe in learning how to think. Empowered with the ability to think and reflect, people have the ability to improve not only their lives but the people around them.

It seems in Bangladesh that learning to think is not high on the priority list. Rote memorization, an important stepping-stone in education, is the goal to which all students aspire. Students here understand that with enough memorization and money for a tutor to explain what to give, exams can be passed quite easily. Standardized exams provide a benchmark, but a benchmark for what? I do not believe that the benchmark set by standardized exams is the ability to think critically or truly understand the material.

The ability to ask questions and discover new answers, exploration and discovery, these skills are virtually ignored in the education system here. Creativity and innovation are brushed aside for the all important memorization of when to use "thee" instead of "thou" (a rule which is all but antiquated). And this in a country rife with inventors and creative minds. In a country where they can make anything with wheels into a method of transportation, where they can use a single square of fabric in a hundred different ways; in a country where creativity as a product of daily life is so important; the education system seems designed to destroy that creativity and create a society of like-minded followers.

When I look around me at the many challenges facing Bangladesh, and I talk to Bangladeshis with experience beyond Bangladesh, they are often very skeptical of this society and the ability of Bangladeshis to improve their own lives. "They will do as they have always done, that's how they were taught," is a line that sums up the predictions of some. They claim that Bangladesh needs international aid, that Bangladeshis could not improve their own lives, that Bangladesh needs handouts, but I do not believe this needs to be the case. What Bangladesh and Bangladeshis need is to be taught how to think; to be taught how to address their own needs as they see them, and if they do not wish to change them, who are we to tell them otherwise?

Bangladeshis may not be ready to address their own challenges today, and they won't be tomorrow, but unless the system is developed to teach them how to think, they will never have the opportunity to reach their full potential.

In Peace.
Steve.

Praying Together

Inter religious prayer... is it really possible? Is it possible for people of different faiths come together and worship? At first glance the answer should be "no", people with seemingly opposing world views who are trying to change each other should not be able to pray together. But I do not believe the answer is as simple as that, the answer is that it is possible for people of different faiths to pray together but their faith cannot end there.

We, the Taize Peace Committee, are in a unique position to think about and create a framework for inter-religious prayer. Our group includes Christians, Muslims and Hindus, all of whom are dedicated to peace and harmony in our societies and in our world. We also are connected to three homes for handicapped children, where the volunteers and children are Muslims, Christians and Hindus. Because this group is a part of the international l'Arche community, spirituality is an important part of everyday life, so how do these children and volunteers from three different religions all join together in prayer? This is the role of the Taize Peace Committee.

We are searching for a style of prayer that is not just accepting of everyone but fulfilling for everyone. I do not know if this is possible, but that is not for me to decide. The goal is to open a space for prayers to be raised from different people in their own faith while being in harmony and solidarity with the people around them. We are searching for songs, psalms and readings affirming our call to love one another and lift others up. We are not saying that these religious traditions are the same, nor are we trying to minimize their importance in people's lives. Instead we aim to bring people together in faith, and affirm a common spirituality in each other.

So we aim to bring spirituality, love and peace together in a supportive environment of prayer to God. To leave it there, thinking that everyone could be happy and fulfilled would be naive. I do not pretend to think that through inter-religious prayer people can grow in their faith. I believe that everyone could be spiritually renewed, but they could not grow and affirm each other in their common beliefs. This inter-religious prayer is an opportunity to be inclusive yet affirming, not to detract from anyone's faith. But prayer in one's own religious group, gathering together to worship with sisters and brothers is of vital importance. As a Christian I could not grow in my understanding of God and Christ without the support of Christian role-models in my life. And so I believe that inter-religious prayer can only be a part of a person's walk of faith.

Inter-religious prayer is about praying, doing something all our religious traditions do, and in doing so demonstrating God's love for all people. In this form, I believe inter-religious prayer has a place in these handicapped homes and is an idea of importance in our violently polarized religious landscape.

Shanti.
Steve.